At Magna Radio, we take the important things in life very seriously.

Things like queue etiquette. Group chats. And people who say they’re “five minutes away” when they’re very much still at home.

Following the success of the first 10 laws in the Magna Charter – a feature on Adam’s Show, it’s time to expand the sacred rulebook. These are the everyday crimes we all recognise and the completely fair consequences that come with them. Let us know if we should publish the book for listeners!

Welcome to Laws 11 to 20.

Law 11 – “Five Minutes Away” Liars

Crime: If you say “I’m five minutes away” but you’re still at home.
Punishment: You must pay a late tax. The first round of drinks or the takeaway is on you.

Law 12 – Aisle Blockers

Crime: If you block a supermarket aisle for a catch-up.
Punishment: Your trolley is confiscated and you are relocated to the frozen aisle until you cool off.

Law 13 – Panic Petrol Buyers

Crime: If you panic buy petrol because someone on Facebook said there might be a shortage.
Punishment: You must give three lifts to strangers until your tank returns to a sensible level.

Law 14 – Indoor Sunglasses

Crime: If you keep your sunglasses on indoors because it is “still sunny outside”.
Punishment: You must remain in character as a mysterious celebrity for the rest of the day and sign autographs.

Law 15 – The TV Remote Hoarder

Crime: If you hide the remote so nobody else can change the channel.
Punishment: You must act as a human footstool for the duration of the viewing. You also lose all voting rights on what to watch next.

Law 16 – The Queue Jumper

Crime: If you pretend not to realise there is a queue and walk straight to the front.
Punishment: You must return to the back and loudly apologise to every single person.

Law 17 – The Group Chat Ghost

Crime: If you read a message and reply three days later with “Just seen this”.
Punishment: You must organise the next meet-up and pay for the food or drinks.

Law 18 – The Overpacker

Crime: If you say “I’ll just bring a small bag” and arrive with three suitcases.
Punishment: You must carry everyone else’s luggage too.

Law 19 – The Microwave Countdown Watcher

Crime: If you stand staring at the microwave for the entire countdown and block the kitchen.
Punishment: You must loudly provide running commentary for the final ten seconds.

Law 20 – The “I’ll Just Have One Drink” Liar

Crime: If you say “I’ll just have one drink” and then stay out all night.
Punishment: You must prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner the following day while quietly reflecting on your decisions.

The Magna Charter continues to grow, shaped by the little things that unite us all, the habits we laugh at, recognise instantly, and occasionally see in ourselves.

If you’ve spotted a crime that deserves to be added to the Charter, we want to hear it.

Because let’s be honest, there are plenty more laws still to come.